Leaping!

I know lots of people seem to enjoy celebrating ordinary, annual, regular holidays.  You know, like Christmas and New Years, oh, or Thanksgiving or Easter, crap, also July 4th and St. Patrick's.  Damn, there's a lot of them.  My point being, if you want to be boring and normal then go right ahead.  But, if you would rather be slightly unusual and you know, weird, which odds are you probably do since you're reading this, then have I got a holiday for you...

LEAP DAY!!!!

I know, just take it in.  Breathe.  Awesome, right?  

But, you might say, I grew up with all those other holidays.  I don't even know what to do for leap day.  I don't even have any decorations.  Well, no worry.  Nope, the celebration of leap day couldn't be simpler.  

First, take off work. If your boss complains just tell him (or her) to fuck off and die.  Hey, it's leap day, you can worry about your future employment on March 1st.  Alright, so looks like someone's schedule is suddenly wide open.  Now, go to your neighborhood megamart for supplies and decorations.  You're going to need three things for a true leap day celebration.  

1) A Trampoline.  The bigger the better here.  A small "exercise" model will work, but it's your first leap day celebration, go for the 20 foot monster that violates your local zoning ordinances and will guarantee at least two broken bones.

2) Pop Rocks.  Just take all they have.  See if they have more in the back too.  You're going to want a shit-ton of them.  

3) Booze.  Hey, it's a celebration, right?  Now, the traditional Leap Day cocktail consists of equal parts tequila, vodka, beer, purple kool-aid, and sprite.   But, you're a rookie, just pickup your personal choice of intoxicants.

Now we get to the optional items.  A few things you may want to grab in addition: paper towels, first aid kit, ice, crutches, full body splint, life-flight helicopter.  Let's just say leap day often gets messy.  

Now, get out there, jump like mad, discover the unforgettable feeling when you fall off the trampoline and accidentally aspirate pop-rocks (it's called a leap-spasm), and just enjoy the shit out of this day.  Now, you may be sad that it only occurs once every four years, but if you do it right you need that time to recuperate.  Well, and find a new job too.  

Enjoy!

The Things We Do...

Apparently, since having our daughter, my wife and I have become mild idiots.  Well, she became a mild idiot and I went from mild to full on raging moron.  Now, I know this is not shocking news to most of you who know me, but let me elaborate.  Prior to having a child we would hear about something, say an event or a festival, and our typical response was skepticism and disinterest, figuring it would be crowded, underwhelming, and generally filled with other people, who tend to be, you know, annoying.  But now, well, let's just look at some of our recent weekends:


Pumpkin Festival?  SURE!!!  


Taco Truck Rally and Spelling Bee?  We are THERE!!! 


Hay Ride and Petting Zoo?  Why don't we go twice!


Trick or Treating at the local mall?  Hell YES!!!


The worst thing is these events have ended up being crowded, underwhelming, and absolutely stuffed to the proverbial gills with the annoying general public.  So much so that we actually sat in traffic for 2 hours to travel 2 miles to get into the pumpkin festival.  I still can't believe my head didn't explode during that.  


What's caused this sudden eagerness to take on the world in all it's stupid glory?  You could blame hormonal changes.  Or make an argument that we're putting our daughter's happiness and enjoyment of the world at large ahead of our own happiness.  But, knowing myself, I think it's a byproduct of toxic outgassing from a house full of plastic toys.  I'd analyze it some more, but we've got to run so don't miss the Sesame Street Ice Extravaganza!  I hear Elmo's being played by Kristy Yamaguchi's second cousin!

Happy Birthday Doodle

Happy 2nd Birthday, Kiki!!! Love you doodle.