New numbers

My wife has been working on counting to 10 with my daughter. She is a woman of almost infinite patience, she has managed to put up with me after all. Tonight Kiki wanted to show off her new skill. It was... interesting.

"Kiki, let's count to 10 before bedtime!"

"Okay! Ten!"

"No, no, Kiki, how do you start?"

"Ten!"

"Kiki, what is the first number?"

"Eight!"

"Kiki!"

"One!"

"Yes, and then?"

"Two!"

"Then?"

"Pillow!!!"

"Then, wait, what?"

"Blue!"

"No, Kiki, what comes after two?"

"Pillow!"

At this point I may have made the tactical error of laughing, which to a three year old is a clear message to do whatever it is you just did again and again.

"Pillow pillow pillowpillowpillowpillowPILLOWPILLOWPILLOWPILLOW!!!!!"

So now we have given up on numbers and are focusing on teaching her that one plus pillow equals blue.

Intellectual Bullying

Yesterday morning when we went to get in the car, much to our surprise we discovered that the garage door was open and had been all night.  

Thankfully nothing went missing, however, being that I was the one who had let the dogs out the night before it was decided by the family that I was the guilty party.  I feel this was not exactly a just trial since there were no witnesses and no DNA testing was undertaken, but no one wanted to hear my alternate explanation of a one-armed man and a malfunctioning black market garage door code breaker.  But, being as our family has a less then ideal justice system (no one likes my idea of an independent DNA testing facility in the basement) I accepted blame, took my lumps, loaded in the car and figured that was the end of it.  

...

About 4 minutes into the trip, I hear a small voice from the carseat in the back chirp up,

Kiki: "Why was the garage door open?"

Me: "Because I forgot to close it, honey."

K: "But why?"

M: "Because I let the dogs out last night and didn't close it when they came in."

K: "But why?"

M: "Because I forgot, I was cold and it slipped my mind."

K: "But why?"

M: "I don't know, I made a mistake, it was an accident."

K: "But why?"

M: "Because I didn't remember to close it."

K: "But why?"

M: "Well, I guess because I am dumb, okay?"

K: "Okay."

I turn to see her looking out the window with a smug smile on her face as if to say "hey, you said yourself you're stupid, not me... stupid."