So, we lost our babysitter. No, we didn't misplace her at the mall or leave her at the park, but we do find ourselves without a viable childcare alternative to, well, us. I know, horrors!
So we consulted that infinite database of all parenting knowledge. Yep, we googled "babysitters" and came back with some creepy site. Undaunted, we tried searching for "real babysitters" and did no better. Same for "experienced babysitters", "strict babysitters" and "coed slutty babysitters". Fine, so the last search was for my own benefit. Anyway, finally we searched for "babysitters, really, babysitters, you know, to watch a baby, our baby, not some weird and creepy babysitter pornography appealing to stunted and deranged perverts. Seriously." and found some honest to goodness babysitters in our town. Not to say some weren't every bit as disturbing as the pornography. Let's meet the candidates, shall we?
Our first applicant is Jazmyn. Now, let's not be hasty in judgement here. Sure, her name and chosen spelling might, possibly, somewhat hint that perhaps, maybe, she could have at some time danced with, you know, no clothes on. But hey, we're enlightened and open minded parents, if she is comfortable with her body and secure in her choices who are we to hold it against her? No, what sunk Jazmyn was her assertion that she doesn't believe in letting children watch "telivision". Really? I mean, I guess that's fair, when I think about it I find that I also don't believe in children watching telivision, or even tilevision, tellevision or tellyvisheon for that matter. I'll even go so far to make the blanket statement that I am against children watching anything that doesn't exist.
Well, Jazmyn's out (sorry Jazzy, we barely knew ye), but let's see who's next!
Ah, Robin, a bit older, a bit more experienced, a bit, well, judging from her photo, blurry and pixelated. But that's alright, the technologically challenged can be great caregivers, just look at Mary Poppins. Sure, she could fly using an umbrella but did you ever see her using an ipod or GPS? I rest my case. Anyway, so Robin has been nannying and babysitting for many years and prior to that, let's see, oh, she went to a prestigious art college, that's nice. And let's see, oh, she majored in... seriously...really... photography? Sorry Robin, if you're that bad at your chosen area of study I hesitate to hire you in something outside your "area of expertise."
And now we come to Sarah. A sweet girl, fairly experienced but still young enough to keep up with a toddler into the wee hours as needed. A student at the local university, she is studying abnormal psychology, which will come in handy when dealing with, well, me. However, what really caught our attention is that, in addition to babysitting services, she also works as a dogsitter. Now, many of you will judge us negatively for our priorities, but bear in mind we have a cute, well behaved, and relatively easy daughter. We also have three ill behaved, bad tempered, and strange dogs. Yeah, if she can handle them then Kiki will be a breeze.
So we're trying out Sarah this weekend. If all goes well we will have solved our childcare conundrum through the proper application of google. If, conversely, things don't go well... let's just say if you see a cute part-Japanese toddler for sale on Craig's List could you just go ahead and buy her for us? I'll thank and reimburse you later.