What Is Wrong With You?

When doing some research for a previous post (hey, a lot of research goes into this blog, quit laughing!) I entered "onesie" into Google to check the spelling since, strangely, it does not appear in my spell check.  Well, I was slightly alarmed to see the second recommendation (thanks google!) was "Onesies for adults".  Being a curious sort, I clicked through, and discovered a new world of products with horrific names like "jumpinjammerz" and "funzee."  Now, in theory, the idea of footed coverall pajamas seems kind of appealing, in a not very appealing kind of way, but in practice, well...

Okay, maybe the headless onesie look is unfairly creepy looking.  Let's see how it looks with a person inside...  

Fine, so it's no less creepy.  In fact, it is actually way more creepy.  Super creepy.  In fact, I think I may need a shower.  


But wait, that's not all!  No, not even close.  No, the adult onesie is incredibly versatile;


You can support the armed forces:   

Now, just because they may not see it, don't think they won't feel your support.  It feels like a slight tingling in the back of your knees.

You can apparently, what, poop in it?

Awesome.  

And just because you're wearing an infant's outfit doesn't mean you can't look, uh, sexy?

Maybe it's sexy to someone?  Unfortunately, I think that someone is a pedophile.  

And don't think you disaffected, surly teenagers need to be left out.  There are onesies for them too!!! 

 

They have skulls.  Skulls are badass, right?

And for the imbeciles in your life (you know who they are), well we've got many options for them:

WE'RE FROGS!!!!

I'M FLYING!!!

MY JOINTS DON'T WORK RIGHT!!!!

Look, if you want to dress as a baby, be my guest.  Hell, throw a pair of Depends on under your onesie if it makes you happy.  But please, don't go out in public.  And, google, could you please leave me out of it?