Vegematarian

So the other day, being bored, I decided to go vegetarian.  Why?  Well, my wife has been a long time ovolactopescatarian since before we started dating.  For those of you who didn't take Latin in high school (Loser!  No, wait, I'm the loser.  Damn!) an ovolactopescatarian eats eggs, milk products, and fish.  Well, in addition to a vegetarian diet too, otherwise it would make for some odd meals of shrimp and cottage cheese or tuna and eggs.  Mmmm, delicious!  


Anyway, my wife finally decided to follow through on a promise she made herself a long time ago to stop eating "things with faces."  Seriously, that's her diet.  So scallops and mussels are okay, but chicken and salmon aren't.  I haven't explored if she would eat Mike the Headless Chicken, but I assume the answer is yes.  


Anyway, Em decided to stop eating faces and I figured I'd go along, you know, for a day or two, just for shits and grins.  Now, two months later, I find myself in the bizarre position of actually, kind of sort of, in a way, being a vegetarian.  Well, maybe not totally.  I had salmon at one dinner, and had some leftover calamari from my mother-in-law, both acts which I think can land you in vegetarian jail.  Which I picture to be rather laid back, easy to escape, and filled with Phish music and weed smoke.  Actually, I wouldn't mind spending a few nights there, just to catch up on my sleep.  


But, being someone who has ordered bone marrow, pork cheeks, and sweetbreads previously, one time all in the same delicious meal, I feel like I don't even know myself anymore.  Telling someone that I'm vegetarian feels as foreign as admitting I have found Jesus (he was hiding in vegetarian jail).  Maybe it's just the connotations that go along with the term "vegetarian".  I could use ovolactopescatarian, but something tells me that would just lead to stranger looks.  Well, at the end of the day I already dress in spandex and periodically shave my legs, I guess I should just accept that my dietary choices are the least of the things people judge me for.