The DoItAll Mk. 2 - Now with adaptor to loosen the spark plugs on a 1966 Ford Galaxy Wagon

Maybe you missed the news, but someone (Ibera) FINALLY came out with a cycling mini tool (you're a mini tool!) that combines a 5mm hex, phillips screwdriver, and bike stand.

Now, you may ask:
"Why do I need a stand when I've always just leaned my bike against a tree to work on it on the road?"

"But what if you're riding up Mt. Ventoux, famously deforested by the French to build their navy, what then smart guy?"

Not one to be easily cowed, you may reply:
"But if my mini tool is supporting the bike how can I use it to fix or adjust anything?"

"Well, what if you only need to, uh, adjust your, uh, taillight?"

Yeah, that's it.  And yet you don't stop (why are you being such a dick, by the way?), you come back with:
"Judging from the picture you just lean your bike against this, it doesn't actually hold the bike.  Anything can be used for that, say, my shoe, or a rock (neither of which I call a "bike stand"), so I don't need this."

Fine, jerk, you win this time.
But I digress.  Why does every product designer insist on grafting on another function to an item to try to sell more?  (Oh, maybe to sell more, since that's kind of their job.  Hey, I think I got this one figured out!).  Dammit, I'm tired of it.  Now, don't get me wrong, I'm one of the worst suckers for a multitasker, I am a disciple of Alton Brown after all, but they better work well.  I don't need a tool that does lots of things poorly.  I learned this lesson early in life with my first Swiss Army knife.  I loved it and carried it everywhere, since it was a weapon, after all.  But then I came to realize I didn't have a huge need for a dull knife, or a toothpick that you are just supposed to reuse (ick), pathetic tweezers, the worst scissors on earth, or a nail file ever, really.  So I just started carrying a knife.  And it worked much better at cutting things, imagine that.  Plus I didn't rip off my fingernails trying to open it every time.  But if someone comes out with a combination wheel building station and minipump I'm ordering two, but only if it is made out or carbon fiber.