Do You Hear My Voice?

So I was reading my weekly science magazine, because I am a tremendous nerd, and I came across a rather shocking bit of information.  Apparently, approximately 85% of the population hear a voice when they read.  Like, a little voice, in their head, telling them the words.  WHAT?


Really?


Well, yes, apparently so, according to the information.  And chances are you, dear reader, are hearing these words in your head right now.  Weird.  What does my voice sound like in your head?  If I may make a request, I would prefer James Earl Jones or, at the least, Morgan Freeman.  But, let's face it, it's probably Andy Dick.  On helium.  Damn.


Anyway, I was shocked by this tidbit of information because I am apparently one of the minority of people who hear nothing when reading.  I just don't get it.  I look at a word, I know what the word is, I don't have a voice telling me what it is.  I guess I cut out the middleman?  But it raises so many questions in my mind, silent though they may be, such as...


Do people really have a running commentary while they read?  


Does punctuation, change what... you hear?!?  


Do typographical changes make it sound LOUDER or saucy or emphatic or dumb?  


If you read something en français does it sound différents?  


¿Qué hay en español?  


Do you hear different voices for each character in a book or the same for all?  


If it is a female versus male character do they have different voices?


Do ya'll hear accents or jus' the same ol' fer everyone?

Do people really have a running commentary while they read?  

Weird.  You all (well, 85% of you) are weird.  Just weird.  But I would like to sound like Marvin Gaye, if that's alright.  Weirdo.

Earthquake in Japan

Well,  I'm sure you've heard an earthquake hit Japan.  The scale of the violence and destruction is just incomprehensible.  Thankfully for our little family all my wife's relatives and friends are safe and accounted for.  Sadly there are many thousands of others that are not so fortunate.  I have written a lot about Japan and travelled there extensively and love the people, the culture, and the country and it is always terrible to see nature exert such destructive forces on any people but that much harder to watch when you have some personal connection.  Unfortunately I've been relying on the national television media for much of my information, which is akin to asking your eight year old niece to describe the plot of a David Lynch film.  They'll get some facts right, others massively wrong, and just generally miss the whole point.  


Thankfully due to the wonders of modern technology and the robustness of the Japanese infrastructure we have been able to talk with my wife's family in Osaka, which was quite far away from the destruction, and her brother in Tokyo, who had to stay in at his office overnight but is at his apartment now and doing well.  I must say, if ever there was a country and a culture that could deal with this type of destruction it is the Japanese.  Even having lived in California, I've never seen a place more prepared, top to bottom, for a calamitous earthquake.  From their building techniques and home furnishings to their school drills and infrastructure, Japan is constantly aware of the risks of their geological location and planning for the worst.  It's just terrible that finally their preparations were needed (and then some).  


I hesitate to even include this in what is typically a light little meaningless blog, but if you feel the need/desire to help by sending money/food/clothes or just buying tickets to Charlie Sheens' live tour (seriously, he's doing a tour and giving the proceeds to Japanese relief?  I mean, I guess doing charitable work, even in a totally batshit crazy way, is still good, right?) please do so.  At the same time, if you do have the itch to help out but want to help with Haiti, which even a year later still has enormous work to be done, or Chile, or even someplace that has issues that are not geologically caused, or even something close to home, go for it.  It's a good thing.  Even if Charlie Sheen does it.

Japan Tales - Odds 'N' Ends

Going through my photos on the computer I came across a few items I saw in Japan that were just so batshit crazy I had to snap a picture to prove they existed: 

Teeny tiny beers.  You know, for toddlers.

Frightening McDonald's sandwiches.  

Bit hard to make out, but the label reads:"Green Cola, for your natural life.  Made from selected raw materials, derived from plants such as fruits, with cola's own dynamism and briskness."  This is nice, because I have been looking for a more dynamic soda.

That, dear reader, is maple syrup and pancake flavored soda.  Served hot, out of a vending machine, on the street.  Right next to the used panty machine.

But nothing was close to being as peculiar, odd, and befuddling as this gem:

This is a trash can that seems designed to make you review your life choices and become filled with regret.  Thanks a lot trash can, you jerk.  

Sing a Song of Sixpence

Parenting experts recommend talking to your child, interacting with them, and even singing to them.  Now, we try to do right by our child, so we do engage her in conversation, despite her less than stellar contributions to the discussion (gooey-gooey-gooey doesn't often add a lot to the discourse, though we do enjoy it).  


We play and dance with her even though she hasn't taken much of a shine to the waltz, her cha-cha is pretty weak and her tango is, well, kind of a mess.  But she is pretty awesome at the stomping baby dance, wherein she stamps her right foot repeatedly, both on and off the beat.  Yeah, we're waiting for the dance shows to call.  


And even ol' tone deaf dad sings to her.  Only problem is, I only know two songs.  The spiderman theme song and "little boxes" (a.k.a. the "Weeds" theme song).  So, every song she gets is a variation thereof.  The other problem is, I don't have a very good memory, so every song is slightly to extravagantly different.  But, they do have one thing in common, they're all crap.  Just abysmally horrific.  And I realized, singing to your child is great in a general sense, but in my specific case, I should probably just stick with talking.  I mean, how helpful is hearing, to the tune of "The Amazing Spiderman"


Baby girl,
Baby girl,
Does whatever a baby girl does.
Can she swing from a tree?
No she can't, she's just a baby.
Watch out, here comes the doodle bear.


Yeah, I just need to leave the musical teaching to others.  You know, non-morons.  Oh well, that just leaves more time for the stomping baby dance.