Simplify Simplify Simplify

Well you may have noticed a significant lull in the frequency of posts the past month.  Oh, you didn't?  You don't pay that much attention to this mindless diversion you say?  Well, fair enough, but no matter, I do apologize.  We were somewhat otherwise engaged in the process of moving.  We built a new house this year and the time finally came for the big move.  


Well, we didn't really build it, thankfully, if that were case it would still be a pile of ill cut lumber and mud (though Kiki does seem like she may have some useful carpentry skills).  No, someone else built it and we would just show up periodically (and typically ask stupid questions like "Instead of carpet can we install velcro?" or "Oh, it's going to be built out of wood, huh?").  It worked out much better that way for all involved.  But, being as we had to move, we went through the lengthy process of eliminating all unnecessary shit from our lives.  Well, physical items, not needy friends or emotional baggage, sadly.  


It seemed a simple process, but we found ourselves considering the utility and necessity of everything in our lives.  Do we really need two corkscrews?  How many shoes do you honestly need, we only wear one pair at a time (well, two if you wear hand shoes, and who doesn't)?  Why even have underwear at all, I mean, really, it just seems like an extravagance. 


So, basically, we moved a bowl and a robe each.  Although I'm thinking about ditching my robe altogether, figuring I can just use the bowl to hide my shame.  Hmm, dinner parties might be a little uncomfortable for our guests though.  But then our friends do kind of know what to expect from us.  Well, me.  Okay, we don't actually have any friends, I made up that bit about dinner parties.  But I can still make my wife and Kiki uncomfortable.  And by god, I'm damn good at it.


Whenever our commitment wavered and we considered holding onto something unnecessary, like an extra toaster, or an old tennis racquet, or our wedding rings (mindless sentimentality!), we found a brief watching of one of the hoarding reality shows (Hoarders, Hoarders: Buried Alive,and Hoarders: Messy Crap House Stuff Show) quickly reinvigorated our zest for simplification.  Something about seeing a man almost crushed to death by his collection of used bandages makes you much more open to parting with the clothes you haven't worn since college.  I mean, I don't want my last breath to be smothered by a worn Spring Break '99 tee.  I always envisioned my death as somewhat more dignified, maybe involving something classy, you know, like a Led Zeppelin reunion tour shirt.