Final Resting Place

Well, having become a parent, my wife and I decided it was time to make some plans for the future.  She was concerned with life insurance, estate planning, and wills.  I however, being the practical one, was primarily concerned with what should be done with my dead body when I die.  


Now, some may opt for burial or cremation, or even something more unusual, like being made into a jewel or shot into space.  But none of those are for me.  Nope, I want to be taxidermied.  Before you go all judgmental on me, let me explain.  I am not talking about some two-bit redneck hack who specializes in deer and grouse.  No, nothing like that will do.  I want to be preserved by the genius, the artist, the maestro who created this:

Behold, the Gripsholm Lion.  Yes, dear readers, believe it or not, this was once a lion.  It was the pet of King Frederick I of Sweden, and upon its death was sent to be preserved.  The only problem was the taxidermist had never actually seen a lion.  Or, judging by the job he did, any other kind of animal.  Seriously, how many animals have a tooth centered in the middle of their mouth?  


Though perhaps not the most lifelike recreation, you have to admit it has panache.  And that's what I envision for my own remains.  I mean, he can certainly capture my shifty eyes and my disturbingly long tongue!  


Okay, so a minor problem with my plan may be the fact that he created this in the 1730's and has been dead for going on 275 years (assuming, rather safely, that he was executed after unveiling this to the king, who had actually seen the lion prior to death), but I am holding out hope that somewhere in the far reaches of the world of taxidermy there is his spiritual successor, ready to take up his cause and create anew.  I'm imaging a blind hermit.  Probably missing a few fingers.  Oh, and with palsy.  Yep, that should do it.