Once again, like all crap baby products, it claims to be a "system." Now, in my book, two pieces does not a system make. But then, it does have a seal of approval from The National Parenting Center, although I really question the value of that since the first approved item I found on their website was Filemaker Pro, a computer organizational program... yeah, I'm confused myself. First of all, how does that have anything to do with children? Oh, your kids can use it to track and organize their baseball cards, but of course. Okay then, second question, are there organizational computer programs that failed to get the TNPC seal of approval? Did Excel pose a choking hazard? Does quickbooks pose a risk of SIDS?
But back to the Infant Sleep Safety System (hereafter known as IS3, or just balls). Through careful inspection of the packaging, I was able to discern the secret of its SIDS prevention approach - it ties your baby on their back. It appears to be a band that attaches around the mattress and a sleep bag that engages through the wondrous technology of velco (thanks George). Yep, nothing a good ol' roll of duck tape couldn't accomplish. But then that wouldn't be a system. Okay, so a roll of duct tape and a onesie - presto! The soon-to-be patented Baby Attachment Crib Helper Engagement System (B.I.T.C.H.E.S.)! A quick review by the National Parenting Center and I'll be raking the money in... and saving lives, don't forget about saving lives.
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