Yes, Batter Blaster! Oops, make that ORGANIC Batter Blaster. Because god forbid your pancake/waffle batter in a spray can is somehow unnatural. It's produced by the Batter Blaster Company of sunny Scottsdale, Arizona. And frankly, I feel like they're seriously limiting their opportunities to sell foods in a can. Personally, I would have named it the Food In a Can Company. We would go by FICCo internally. Yes, this is yet another reason I am not in charge of my own company.
Anyway, to review our pressurized food offerings to date, whipped cream and spray cheese led the pressurized food charge. I'm glad to see pancake batter finally getting in on the game, but frankly I'm disappointed that this is all we've seen. Where's our spray peanut butter and jelly? How about chocolate chip cookie dough? Or maybe italian sausage meat? Yeah, this future is disappointing me as well.
It's hard to make out in the photo, but the serving suggestions on the bottom of the label suggest that you "Simply blast batter into a skillet or waffle iron. No cleanup!"
Really?
When else have the words "blast" and "no cleanup" ever gone together? Nope, you're going to have batter blasted everywhere. On the ceiling. In your hair. Somehow behind the refrigerator. Pretty much everywhere except your skillet or waffle iron.
Does this temper my love for this product? Hell no, I'll take massively inferior product if it comes in a can. Face it, spray cheese is horrific, whipped cream in a can tastes about 1/10th as delicious as true whipped cream, and these sprayed pancakes have a soupy texture coming out of the can and an odd chemical aftertaste, but I bought the damn stuff anyway, because I'm doing all I can to usher in a future filled with chemically processed pressurized foodstuffs.
Hahaha, nice post! Minus (or maybe plus?) one point for omission of obvious "Baby Batter Blaster" joke or whatever. That's already been done to death on the web anyway, I'm sure.
ReplyDeleteSo, time to get anecdotal: I'd recently made a half-batch of homemade waffles, and even that generated more than the two eaters could eat, so the remaining waffle was offered to my then-roommate, an engineering student from Italy. He enjoyed it immensely but admitted he'd never bother making it because of the labor involved. I recommended he pick up the BATTER BLASTER with a secret ulterior motive of my own: I wanted to try the stuff but I sure as hell didn't want to buy (much less consume) and entire can. I think he went through three containers in the following few weeks before he shipped out, and I definitely did generate an experimental waffle. The chemical aftertaste is no joke, but it's more subtle than the difference between regular and diet soda. Something along the lines of what you get from a Splenda cookie. I guess this bizarre flavor is why they go out of their way to label it as "all natural"? You're winning battles but losing wars when the best you can proclaim is "take THAT science, we made a nasty aftertaste and we didn't even venture into a chemical-drenched lab!". Another totally confounding element is the complete absence of any fat. Fat-free. What the hell. How and why would they do that? I bet if they just put some butter in the recipe they could omit whatever fat-substitute makes it taste so weird.
Wait, what, Splenda cookies? Why, god, why?
ReplyDeleteGOD CAN'T HELP YOU HERE
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