You see, Keeks has a habit of chewing on her index fingers. Seemed harmless enough, we figured at some point it would either hurt and she'd stop or she would outgrow it. But last Sunday she managed, with her two tiny and surprisingly sharp front teeth, to cut her finger open. So we find her waking up from her nap with blood on her hand. Awesome! Our 11 month old is apparently a cutter. In retrospect, maybe we should have seen it coming, you know, with the goth clothing, the crap poetry, the constant Cure playing in her nursery, but despite all the warning signs it was still surprising.
We even had to take our first unscheduled trip to the pediatrician due to her bloodlust, where we were informed that she is apparently a werewolf and this is the first step in her transformation. Wait, no, my wife is informing me that I am mistaken, she did not tell us that, she just gave us antibiotics and advised us to keep Kiki from chewing on her fingers (REALLY?). We were also given a steroid cream to help little Kiki grow into a big and unnaturally strong ravenous flesh eating monster. Oh, wait, no, once again I am apparently wrong, it was just to help her poor finger heal.
But the most amazing thing was it didn't stop her chewing on her finger. Nope, my little cannibal wouldn't be deterred. Even putting band-aids on her finger didn't stop her. We have had to resort to mittening her hands with socks. But the worst part of it (besides the nightmarish visions of my daughter eating her own hands off, I know I shouldn't have watched Titus right before bed) is that the hand she cut, the hand that is now mittened (socked?) all day and night is her left hand. Hmmm, maybe this is all just an elaborate, deceitful, and diabolical plot by my wife to convert our daughter into a righty. Damn! But, I have to say, she still looks pretty cute even with no hands.
She looks kinda pissed about the whole sock thing. Just sayin'.
ReplyDelete