Wishlist

My wife and I, in the 13 minutes between when we put our darling daughter to bed and she starts crying because she rolled over and can't/won't roll back (yeah, this isn't going to get old) often have some interesting conversations.  Recently, we began mulling over what we would buy if we had all the money in the world.  Okay, fine, if we only had $4.2 billion.  


Now, most people will list a bunch of cars, perhaps an island or two, maybe even an entire country.  (Yeah, Luxembourg, sure you're not for sale.  That's what all the tiny countries say.)  Often people will wish for something stupid, like a magic wand, or invisibility cloak.  

Way to waste your money, douche.

Yeah, good luck buying those things.  No thank you, nothing but real, tangible choices that can be bought with cold, hard cash for the missus and me.


Which brings us to our selections, carefully weighed and chosen for the outright joy and pleasure they would bring on a daily basis.


1) A suit made out of fresh, warm bread.  Baked anew every morning.  Sometimes brioche, sometimes sourdough, periodically just good ol' wonder white.  Warm, fragrant, and delicious.  

Kind of like this, but even more awesome

2) A second sink in the kitchen that looks and functions pretty much like any old sink.  Hot and cold taps, sprayer head, you know, the standard.  Ah, but instead of water... milk.  And maybe whipped cream from the sprayer head.  A never ending supply of fresh, delicious milk.  Warm or cold.  Yum.  

Mmmm, warm milk.

3) A constant supply of new socks.  Face it, most clothing gets better with wearing.  The exception?  Socks.  Okay, fine, bread suits and socks.  But new socks, mmmm, nothing better.  And, being mildly obsessed with them, most of the socks would be toe socks.

The perfect accessory for a bread suit.

So, there you have it, the best three things to possibly spend your money on, given unlimited funds.  You can thank me later.  Although, yeah, you can thank me right now, too.  


Fine, at the end of the day, I think we'd just buy a servant to flip our baby back over in her crib.  And by servant, I mean a robot made out of bread.