Ah, baby paraphernalia. What a wasteland of cheap plastic and parental guilt. Think about it, for every first child there are two brand new, clueless parents. They have no idea what they need. Diapers? Surely. Onesies? But of course. 3.8 gH baby video monitor? Ugh... Dual action breastpump with Hydraclean technology and Natur-suck mechanism? Wha? Yeah, just go into a Babies R Us, you'll see legions of clueless parents wandering the aisles with a glazed expression, trying to differentiate between those products that are a waste of money from those that will save their child from a life of crime and put them on the path to happiness, a college education, and their own 2.2 children. It's amazing the number of products that are pure crap. Changing pad cover? Oh good, so I have something else I have to wash every time my child poops/pees while being changed, which only occurs, oh, every 13 minutes? Awesome, I'll take 2! Baby shoes? Yes, my infant, who won't be walking for another year, definitely needs proper arch support. Just Do It! It's not until you have the baby that you realize you should have passed on the 10 pack of infant socks, since she kicks them off instantly, and purchased the Johnny Cash complete box set instead, since The Man in Black has the same effect on your week old daughter as valium.
No comments:
Post a Comment