Tony Kornheiser & the right to be a moron

Ah, Tony Kornheiser. You schmuck. Oh, in case you didn't hear, an excerpt from his radio show recently about cyclists: "The last time I looked, the road was made for automobiles. It's as if we are going to be dominated, as if this were Beijing, by hundreds of thousands of bicyclists." and "The road is for cars! I don't drive my car on the sidewalk!". He went on to suggest people should hit cyclists with their cars. Oh, but don't kill them, just "tap" them. Thanks for looking out for us Tony, you're a hell of a guy. Now, lots of cyclists, including Lance himself, are all atwitter about Tony's apparent attempt at comedy, or social commentary, or, I dunno, irony? But here's the thing, the same freedoms that give Tony the right to say these things give me the right to point out that Tony is a puny, bitter, jocksniffer who has made a living criticizing those who can actually play the games he can only write about. Suddenly, it's not so weird that he would have an irrational anger at people out on "his" roads (Hey Tony, if they are your roads, will you get your ass up to Ohio and do something about the potholes? Thanks!) who are engaged in an actual physical activity themselves. Maybe he would feel better about us cyclists if we just stood on the side of the road and criticized the driving ability of the drivers who passed. That is more in line with Tony's abilities, after all. But no, I should be the bigger man, I should aspire to a loftier ideal rather than sinking to Tony's level, I should set a good example for Kiki of how to deal with ignorance and stupidity, because it is sadly rife in our world. So, Tony, you are entitled to your thoughts on cyclists. You're even entitled to voice them to the world at large. And ESPN should only suspend or admonish you if they believe you have failed in your job, not because of public pressure. But I do hope that sometime in the future Tony comes to realize that cyclists are just people out trying to enjoy their life, they're not out there to annoy Tony, despite what he thinks. We don't really care about him at all, we'd just prefer not to be hit by him, that's all. But maybe someday in the future Tony or someone close to him will discover cycling and the joys it can bring, and he will realize this and feel bad about his comments. Or maybe, while Tony is on his morning walk in the neighborhood, his 482 pound neighbor, Mike, who bought a mountain bike to try to work off some weight, and who has been riding on the sidewalk because of the harassment and irrational anger he encountered trying to ride on the road, will lose control, and crash into Tony, firmly planting about 3 feet of aluminum tubing up Tony's Kornheiser, as it were. But no, I shouldn't wish ill on another human. But I may send Mike some new mountain bike shoes, just to encourage him to get out riding more often.