The Oxford Comma

My wife, the love of my life, apple of my eye, gin in my tonic, is pretty much the only person who reads my blog with any frequency.  As such, she also functions as my editor (unpaid, though she has been threatening to unionize.  I'll bring in scabs like THAT!).  As such, she has been constantly fixing my "issues with ands and commas."  I always just accepted it, since she is smarter than I (I know, damned by faint praise.  She's also prettier, skinnier, sexier, and better at most everything except biking and eating).  But last night she elaborated that "you always put a comma before the 'and' in your lists, why do you insist on doing that?"  I was shocked.  Gobsmacked.  Awestruck even.  My wife, the woman I've chosen (I choo-choo-choose you) to spend the rest of my life with, the mother of my baby girl, doesn't use the Oxford Comma, aka the Harvard Comma, aka the Serial Comma.  Instead she is firmly in the camp of the University of Phoenix Online Non-Comma, aka the Bob Jones University Anti-Comma.  I am crushed.  Here I was thinking I had lucked out in life, finding a perfect woman who had deigned to marry a schlub like me.  Now I realize that it was all a charade, a clever ruse to trick me, finally undone by her comma usage.  Now I see through her deception to the truth beneath, and this, kids, is why grammar is important.